5 Things You Say That He Hears Differently


(Cosmopolitan) Five lines he’ll almost definitely distort.

  • You say, “We have to talk.” He hears, “You have to listen… to what a commitment phobe you are.”
  • You say, “Where do you see us in five years?” He hears, “Do you like the name Jessica if it’s a girl?”
  • You say, “Laura’s fiance proposed after just six months.” He hears, “I’ve been dating you for how long? And still no ring.”
  • You say, “I really want you to meet my parents.” He hears, “I really want you to meet your in-laws-to-be.”
  • You say, “If you’re not ready to commit, I won’t wait until you’re ready.” He hears, “I’ll wait until you’re ready.”

Meanwhile, here are some things to never say to your girlfriend:

  • “My ex-girlfriend is still a good friend of mine.” (What she hears: “I’m still in love with her, and as soon as she takes me back, I’m dumping you.”)
  • “Are you going to change before we go out to dinner?” (What she hears: “Geez, I hope you change your clothes before we leave the house. You look terrible in the outfit.”)
  • “Your friend Claudia is so nice.” (What she hears: “She’s so hot, I want to go out with her as soon as we break up.”)
  • “Do you want to go to the gym with me and work out?” (What she hears: “You’re so fat, if you don’t lose some weight, I’m going to as out your friend Claudia.”)