(Netscape Whether it’s your third date or you’ve been married for 30 years, there are some things you should never tell your partner. Why? It’s hurtful! Sometimes you can best show your love by keeping your mouth shut. There are four specific times when it’s best to not say what you’re thinking. In other words, bite your tongue! Writing in her “Love Bytes” column for iVillage, Tracey Cox offers these four relationship no-nos:
1. Reminiscing about an ex during a special moment.
You’re cuddled up watching the fire slowly burn out while the snowflakes fall gently from the sky. You turn to him in the glowing firelight and say, “This reminds me of the time Bryan and I were skiing in Colorado.” As Cox warns, “Come on–he knows you’ve been around the block, spare him the addresses.”
2. Betraying each other’s secrets.
There is one sacred rule about pillow talk: It is never ever to be repeated. To anyone. This is especially true when one of you divulges anything derogatory about friends or colleagues or makes those intimate, highly embarrassing childhood confessions. So when you meet her boss, don’t say, “Jen is right. You really do look like that woman on ‘Ugly Betty.'”
3. Criticizing when your honey is trying his or her best.
So he doesn’t fold the laundry just so. And she doesn’t do the yard work with the same meticulous attention to detail as you. Get over it. When your partner is truly trying his or her best to do a job, especially if it’s an opportunity to help out in a new way that gives you a break, don’t criticize.
4. Constantly apologizing.
Women especially tend to apologize–a lot. Some might even say it’s too much. “Women seem to have far too many polite genes. He knocks a cup of coffee out of your hands, and you’re the one who apologizes,” Cox quips.