HOW TO PREDICT WHEN YOU WILL BREAK UP

If you’re eyeing your lover suspiciously, wondering when the boom will drop and you’ll get the heave-ho look no further than Facebook for a prediction. CNN reports that British journalist and graphic designer David McCandless scraped 10,000 status updates for the words “break up” or “broken up” and then graphed the results. The five most likely times for breaking up are, in order:

  1. After Valentine’s Day — This romantic holiday, with its candlelit dinners, vases of roses and intimate moments, could very well strip away the veneer to reveal the heart and soul of a relationship–and the result may be one that just isn’t worth continuing.
  2. The weeks leading up to spring break — This impacts college students the most, who may decide in the rush to a week of surf, sand and the barely clothed bodies of perfect strangers that they just don’t want to be encumbered by a dying romantic flame.
  3. Two weeks before Christmas — Can you say cheapskate? It’s about this time of December that serious holiday shopping begins. Why spend a lot of money on someone you don’t really like?
  4. April Fool’s Day — Anyone who chooses this day on which to break up has a twisted sense of humor.
  5. Monday — The most likely day of the week on which you’ll hear those dreaded words of farewell is Monday.

The least likely times to break up are Christmas Day, Summer and Fall.