Since one in five relationships today begin online, most of us have either posted or at least viewed various profiles. Some are straightforward, lengthy, playful, sparse or even downright misleading. Some are sexy, trashy and all together mind blogging. But scantily clad pictures and interesting backgrounds aside, it’s the words — few though they may be — that ultimately grabs our attention and tell us whether he’s a maybe, a no-go or a potential keeper. Because women typically tend to be better communicators of what they want, they spell it out plainly. On the other hand, women complain that guys don’t explain what they want. I beg to differ. So before you check out another dating profile and hit reply, consider the following:
1. When a guy says, “I want a woman who takes care of herself and eats healthy,” he means exactly that. He’s saying that if you’re not in shape, if you don’t live a healthy lifestyle, then a relationship with him isn’t going to work. So if you’re overweight, chubby, ‘thick-boned’ or just have ‘extra cushion for the pushin,’ this guy might give you a chance…but your weight will always be a concern for him. So do yourself a favor, be honest with yourself before you reply.
2. If he mentions he “likes to travel and wants to experience new places and new things,” again, he means that! So if you’re a home body or prefer the couch with a Lifetime movie, chances are, you and this type of guy won’t make it.
3. If he says, “I’m just here looking around” or, “I’m looking for a friend” or, “I’m taking it slow”, or any other variation of these words, then take the hint. Some guys post their status as looking for a relationship. Yet, when you read the fine print you see that he is looking for something completely different. So beware because you’re probably not the person who is going to change his mind…at least no time soon!
4. If his profile reads, “blah blah blah,” you can’t learn much about him. Sometimes, guys get extremely frustrated if they’re unable to find a suitable partner right away, which could lead to a post that vents his frustration. This type of guy doubts that he’ll find anyone, so he posts the same words over and over again, which again deters him from actually meeting anyone. In this case, you have two options. You can take a chance and send him a message in hopes that he will actually have something to say. However, another option is to do nothing at all. Accept the profile at face value — he is a guy who doesn’t take looking for relationships seriously — and simply move on.
5. If he mentions, “I’m a workaholic,” or mentions work more than a few times in his post, you’ll need to be strong with an equal amount of work and/or hobbies to keep you busy, because this guy sure won’t. Work is very important to him and you won’t change this fact anytime soon.
6. When he admits that he is, “undecided/open-minded/prefer not to say” about having children, take a look at your life now. Then, glance into your future and see where you hope to be. If having children isn’t in your plans then you two may have something in common. However, if you want a family, but the guy is too cute and you feel a certain compatibility with him, chat and get to know him. He may be open to a family in the future. In contrast, there are those who are adamant about not having children. If that’s the case, move on and save yourself the misery to come.
7. If he says, “nothing is off limits,” get clarification. Find out if he means that no joke, no action (like skydiving), no viewpoint (racist rants), etc., is off limits. That is, if you want to be sure the guy has an open mind, isn’t a pervert and so on.
8. If he says, “I’m a big kid… ” chances are, he is. So if you’re looking for the serious type, take notice.
9. If he writes, “sarcasm is my language,” then know that at some point he will probably offend you. How often depends on how thick your skin is. So, if you can’t handle an abrasive, blunt guy, just keep clicking.
10. If he talks about sex, repeatedly, throughout his profile, he may not necessarily be looking for a booty call. He may just have a tenacious appetite and he’s warning you in advance. This type of guy is telling you that sex is very important to him. If you can’t handle it — if your sex drive isn’t that strong — then keep clicking on to another profile. Otherwise, you’re wasting your time and his.
11. If he says, “I am in school, or exploring new opportunities,” chances are, he is currently in college and unemployed. Or, he may be underemployed so that he can finish his education. In today’s economy, many are going back to school to further their education. Depending on his major, if you can see potential in his new career choices, or if you’re willing to be the financial backbone for this type of relationship, then don’t be afraid to let him know this.
12. If he says, “I am a sports fan,” then be prepared to watch sports and attend sporting events. Besides, if he wasn’t a diehard sports fanatic he wouldn’t have written it.
13. When he mentions, “I’m not into the bar scene,” chances are, he really isn’t. He is probably ready to settle down. Keep in mind that he still may not be ready to jump headlong into anything serious right away. This is actually a good thing.
14. If he says he “has children,” know that you should expect to be the second or third pick. His children may or may not come first in his life. If they do, you have to be willing to accept this. If not, click your way to another guy who doesn’t have children.