Many of the qualities that make for good relationship partners such as patience, humor and respect are a deep and (somewhat) unchangeable part of our personalities, so wouldn’t it stand to reason that there are bad personality traits that can make for poor couplings? So, what are the biggest relationship wreckers?
The “What Problem?” Partner
You don’t seem so bad – you have a lot of respect for your partner and create a calm environment for your union. But you treasure that peace so much you’ll go to any length to avoid conflict. You tend to deny the existence of any problems or work at them at only a superficial level, and so you have no idea how to resolve whatever issues you can’t find a way to avoid.
The “Yeah, So?” Partner
Avoiding conflict sure isn’t your problem! You’re the one always escalating the argument. You tune out when your partner tries to express his or her point of view, because you’re so busy explaining why you’re right. It’s great that you’re so open with your feelings (and can be so honest), but you’ll need to put the gloves down to resolve your disagreements. Research shows that successful couples are able to gently start conversations on touchy subjects, know how to exit an argument before it escalates and can quickly repair the damage.
The “Relationships Suck Anyway” Partner
Traditional marriage counseling used to encourage couples to give up their idealized views of relationships, but that view is being challenged today. While it’s still important to have a grip on reality, it turns out that the people with the highest expectations for relationships usually have the highest-quality unions. So if you’re the kind of person who expects your relationships to be unfulfilling…don’t be surprised when they are.
The “It’s Not My Fault” Partner
Do you get dizzy from frequent eye rolls? Have you perfected your mocking tone? This personality will take a bad situation and make it worse with negative talk until a simple “I’m upset you didn’t tell me you were running late,” becomes “You’re so selfish and have never cared about me or my feelings.” According to research, eye rolling and other negative facial expressions are an excellent predictor of divorce.