When you’re first married, you don’t want to let him out of your sight. It’s not that you don’t trust him; he’s just so dang cute, and you’re justsoooo in lurv. Ladies, been there, done that, still have his t-shirt that I slept in. But I’m going to let you in on a little old married lady secret: there are a lot of things you need to be doing without your husband.
Sure, you’re married now, and two became one and all that jazz, but honey, you are still you! And the sooner you get used to telling him you’d rather fly solo on this one, the sooner you realize you can have your cake and eat it too.
Not sure what I’m talking about? Let’s dive in, shall we?
1. Take a vacation. First off, there’s that whole “absence makes the heart grow fonder” thing, which I really wouldn’t discount. Spend too much time together, and the little things become big things. Time apart allows you to recharge your batteries and remember why you fell in love. But more than that, people vacation differently. Some are go, go, go folks; some would sit in the hotel room the whole time. I’ve found that when I vacation alone vs. with my husband, we do very different types of activities. I wouldn’t want to miss out on either type!
2. Watch a movie. I have no time for women who are all, “well, my husband doesn’t like chick flicks (or sci-fi, or horror, or whatever … no need to be all gender stereotyping here)?” This is exactly why Netflix allows two separate people to be logged in at the same time, y’all. You watch your movie; he watches his … and you can even sit on the same couch and cuddle while you’re enjoying your separate pursuits. Ain’t technology grand?
3. Eat out. I’m married to a meat and potatoes kind of guy, which means that the first time I ever tried dim sum was just the other day. And I realized I’d been missing out! If you’ve both got adventurous palates, that’s all well and good, but if your tastes are at the opposite ends of the spectrum, don’t let life pass you by. Grab a girlfriend to eat out or grab a book and go it alone.
4. Get a massage. A friend recently admitted she’d only ever had a couples massage because she felt “weird” getting naked in the room alone with a massage therapist. First off, they’re professionals; no reason to feel weird. Second, you don’t have to get naked. And third? Couples massages are romantic, but a massage should really be therapeutic. Go it alone, and it’s a completely different vibe … and one that’s totally addictive.
5. Go to girls’ night. Ladies, if you want to bring your husband along to girls’ night, you’re going to find yourself being dis-invited from girls’ night. I hate to go all Lil’ Rascals on you, but it’s no boys allowed … for a reason! Sometimes you just need to talk about things that guys don’t want to talk about (hello, that time of the month?).
6. Go to the salon. I used to think it was cute when I saw the little old men sitting in the salon chairs with their wives’ purses, but now I tend to think it’s a little … suffocating. The relationship between a woman and her hairdresser is sacrosanct; no one — man or woman — needs to be getting in the middle of that.
7. Shop. I’m not catering to stereotypes about men and shopping here; I happen to be married to a man who LOVES to shop. But he is not terribly helpful when it comes to shopping for ME. He’s just too kind about clothes that don’t flatter my body … and he can’t seem to understand why I’m so picky. It’s much better for both of us when he stays at home, and I take someone who “gets” the fact that women can’t just grab a pair of jeans in one size and buy them.