“Boiled Alive, No Lefties and Capitalize That Disease”
Lobsters have to be cooked alive because they’re filled with toxic bacteria that multiply quickly after they die.
In polo, it’s been illegal to hold your mallet in your left hand since 1974, because if two right handed people are charging at a ball from opposite directions, the horses won’t collide. But if a righty and lefty are, the horses will hit each other.
Ebola is capitalized because it’s named after the Ebola River in Africa, in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.